Jess’s Coffee Spot

One of my friends sent me an email this morning and attached was this humorous verse about Apples and Wine. Now it’s probably made it’s way to Mars and back but who cares it’s a great laugh.

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men… men are like a fine wine. The begin as grapes, and it’s up to the woman to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the good apples you know.

I am obviously not the author and I take no credit for this fantastic piece but I felt it was worth writing about and here are my reasons why:

1.This verse obviously has relevance to my blog because it mentions fruit in the title.
2.Wine, I’ll drink some of that too!
3.Men climb a tree, get in touch with your neanderthal side
4.Climb the tree, grab the women, fall out of tree, have a nurse
5.Easy fruit easy…..
6.Grapes and stomping sounds like fun!
7.I am a top apple and my wine is maturing with age

There are two words in the English language that can attract the attention of any man or women they are Bra and Boobs. So I hope I’ve caught your attention!

Ladies do me a favour take a peak in your bra and panties draw, what do you see? Do you realise you can tell a lot about a person by their underwear, it’s true. So get rid of those nanna knickers stashed in your draw.

Keep reading to find out what type of person you are.

Now if you’re a Boob man you are going to love this challenge. So do I still have your attention? Boobs, Boobs, Boobs good your still with me.

How well do you think you know your lady, are you willing to take the quiz to find out? Do you think you can pick her bra type? Once you finished the quiz make a note of her bra type and pop in an envelope, then seal it. Get your partner to do the same and swap the envelopes.

Remember to bookmark my site so you can reveal your answers in the comment section of my blog. For all you nosie people out there I am a lace bra.

Have fun with the quiz and I look forward to reading your posts.

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine You’re a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome With a softer side that only you can draw out

How many times have you eaten Garlic? Ooh probably too many times to count and enough to ward off the vampires, I hope. Garlic can give off an intense odour especially when you are handling it or you have eaten a few cloves in a dish the night before.

Whether you have bad breathe from eating garlic or smell like a garlic factory as it belches out of your pores, I still believe in having garlic in your diet.

Some people prefer to buy one knob of garlic where as I tend to buy a whole bag. Bulk is better, you save money and it reduces the frequent purchasing and impulse buys. If we all took the time to plant some garlic we would be more self-sufficient and healthier for it.

In the kitchen I find certain dishes do require a subtle garlic taste and I find growing garlic for their leaves to be ideal. I love chopping the leaves into salads, omelettes, in dips and other meals. Growing home grown produce tastes flavoursome and it gets the family out into the garden. Garlic is also a great companion plant as it deters unwanted pests and bugs in the garden without using harmful chemicals.

If you’re willing to try your hand at growing garlic be sure to buy the biggest knob of garlic you can find. Shop around if you like as it will pay off in the end. Once you have tracked down your garlic it’s time to get planting.

All you need is a planter, potting mix and a knob of garlic. Break open the garlic knob and pick out the individual cloves. You will see there are small and large cloves in the knob, I use the small cloves because their to fiddley in the kitchen and I don’t like to waste.

Using the small cloves will obviously rear small knobs but in my case I want them for the leaves. If you’re wanting to rear garlic for the knobs than plant out the biggest cloves. Before planting I like to give them a helping hand. I break the peel from around the tip to expose it, then I cut the hard end off the base using a very sharp knife. I find the garlic tends to sprout sooner.

Make as many holes as you need in the potting mix and plant them base first. The top of the garlic is the narrow part. If you’re planting just for the culinary leaves I tend to leave the tips just peaking out of the potting mix and plant them close together. If you’re wanting to grow garlic knobs then plant the cloves 5cm deep and 10-12 cm part. They prefer full sun so give them water and watch them grow.

In time your garlic will try to grow a long stalk it usually means it’s wanting to flower and you don’t want that. A flowering plant uses up lots of energy and you want the energy focused on growing the garlic so cut the flower off.

Harvesting your garlic is really easy, just wait for the bottom leaves to brown and they should be ready to harvest. You might want to poke around in the soil and see if they are ready to be dug up carefully. Rub off the dirt lightly and voila!

If you are wanting to know more about garlic like storing and drying techniques I suggest you pop over to Boundary Garlic Farm for a look.

Spain looks so beautiful this time of year, the birds are singing and the hills are lined with wild flowers. Flowers are everywhere in fields on patios and in peoples gardens. I can’t get over how beautiful the Pelargoniums look. Their vivid hues splash colour against the white crisp walls and look amazing.

Most of the houses are painted white and have pretty scalloped terracotta roof tiles that accentuate it’s rustic beauty. I love the rustic feel of these homes they have loads of character and they make the perfect backdrop to hang planters on the wall.

I have a blank white wall as you enter my home and it looks so bare. I wanted my entrance to look inviting by adding a bit of colour and greenery to the wall.

Whether you’re renting or you’ve bought a home you need to make it your own, so I hopped in the car and headed straight for the nursery.

I am such a mad women when it comes to plants and nurseries, I almost leapt out the car like a possessed women at the Sales. All excited and eager to shop I headed straight for the pots. I wanted glazed pots because in Summer the temperature can reach well into the 40’s (Celsius).

Tip: Glazed pots have been sealed and retain more water which reduces the evaporation rate and frequent watering.

Looking through the aisles I noticed there were a lot pots they were either to small, butt ugly or unglazed. I had the last two aisles to search when I spotted red delicious glazed pots. They were perfect and they were all mine. Making sure they had no chips or cracks in them I chose 2 small pots and medium size pot as the feature. With the pots loaded up I was off to the other side of the store to buy the greenery.

I couldn’t believe my eyes the Pelargoniums were flowering, looked healthy, and I had a vast range to choose from. They had a mixture of medium and advanced plants in standard and trailing varieties. I decided on a soft pink standard a white trailing variety because my pots were so vivid.

You’re probably wondering why I bought three pots and only two plants, heh? O.K I will let you in on my little secret I have been growing a few cuttings and one of my Pelargoniums is big enough to transplant. I love this stage of gardening when you can pot them up into beautiful containers.

With my goodies in the shopping cart I headed straight for the checkout. When I got home I gave them water and sat out on the patio with a lovely coffee under the umbrella. The next morning I planted them out and my free plant looks sensational in its new pot. I am really happy with my feature wall and with time the white Pelargoniums should cascade down the wall.

Whether it is lunch your wanting a light snack or a party nibble these Spicy Tortillas will tantalise your taste buds. I usually make these when I am not overly hungry or as an accompaniment to a curry dish.

The best thing about this recipe it’s easy to make and doesn’t create a huge mess in the kitchen. Yes, hardly any washing up. These tortillas are great when you have the munchies because there savoury, a little crunchy and there kind of like chips (huge chip) without all the calories.

When hunger calls we immediately head straight for the fridge or cupboard. We stand their starring blankly and opening and closing the doors in hope for ideas. What is with that! It’s not like the answer is going to miraculously appear or something new is going to materialise. This makes me laugh, so the next time you find yourself in the kitchen with a brain melt down you can use this recipe.

This recipe is sensational because it is light and tasty and when grilled it will fills the air with the aroma of spices. The smell will make you hungry whilst you wait impatiently to take your first bite. Whether you’re cooking for one or for a party it is a tasty nibble that is kind on the purse strings.

Spicy Tortillas

Ingredients:
1 packet Tortillas
Curry Powder
Salt (Optional)
Paprika
Ground Cumin
Oil (optional)

Method:
Place tortillas on a flat tray and baste lightly with a little oil.
Lightly sprinkle the spices over the tortillas.
Preheat the grill to 200 degrees Celsius and brown lightly.
Serve immediately.

For Party Nibbles: Use a pizza cutter to cut into slices before basting with oil and adding spices. To dress up the plate use a sprig of coriander or parsley.

Tip: You can make one tortilla or as many as you like when ever you like. You can even try cooking these on the barbecue there just as tasty.

I love being outdoors more to the point I like to spend a lot of time in the garden. Admittedly my garden is a small container garden, but it’s my little paradise to unwind.

With coffee in one hand I like to sit and soak up the atmosphere and watch the insects buzz by as they pollinate my flowers, and of course it is always a pleasure to see new seedlings popping up.

One of my passions is to try and grow an almost free garden from plant cuttings and seeds I collect. When I can’t find a specific plant or a kind soul to exchange seeds or cuttings with, I head straight for the garden centre with my man.

Hey a women needs a bit of muscle around to push the shopping cart, lift heavy bags of potting mix, and of course load it in and out of the car. Oh yes, and remember to get him to pay, so I can return home with purse intact. LOL!

So when I am not in my garden or collecting plant life I like to take photographs of flowers. Yep, any flower from weeds to trees, it doesn’t matter. I am even going to put together a bunch of Desktop Backgrounds that you my friends can download and use on your own computer. As far as I know these will be compatible with Windows and Mac but let me know if you have any problems.

Purple Rose Background

How about a low sugar tart that tastes absolutely divine. It’s a perfect tart for diabetics and for people who need to watch their sugar intake. This tart is so easy to make and not to mention uses simple everyday ingredients found in your pantry.

There are no additives, colours or preservatives just fresh fruit, spices, butter, flour, sugar and water. I love this recipe because it light and refreshing on the palate and very versatile. If you don’t like apple try pear or leave the spices out altogether.

This recipe is great for kids and adults alike who struggle to get their family to eat fruit. I am sure once you have made your tart they’ll be asking for seconds. I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I do.
Apple & Orange Tart

Ingredients
Filling:
3 medium green/red apples or a mix of both
2 medium seedless oranges

Base:
150g plain flour
1 tablespoon sugar
40 grams softened butter
Cinnamon(to taste)
Nutmeg(to taste)
Water
Extra plain flour

Method:

Begin by rinsing off the apples and oranges. Peel, core and dice the apples and pop them in a bowl.
Remove the rind from the oranges either with a fine grater or zest. Add the rind from the oranges to the diced apple. Cut the oranges in half and juice the oranges. Pour the orange juice over the apples and mix the rind, juice and apples until they are thoroughly coated. Leave to stand whilst you prepare the base.

Combine flour, sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg together in another bowl and mix together. Add the softened butter and blend with finger tips until the mix resembles fine bread crumbs. Slowly add a little water to the mix. You want the pastry moist enough to cling together but not sticky. Try not to over handle the pastry. If you added to much water add a little flour until you reach the right consistency.

Add a little flour to your workspace either on the bench or board so the pastry doesn’t stick. Begin by flouring your rolling pin and start rolling out the pastry. Working from the middle to the outer edge will help to spread the pastry evenly.

At this point grab your pie dish so you can see if you need to roll out the pastry more. Your pastry should be thin enough that it should cover the base and sides of your pie dish.

Place the pastry in the pie dish and gently press the base and sides to the dish. If the edges of your pie look rough just pinch it down a little with your finger tips.

Pre-heat your oven to 180 degrees celsius. Stir the filling again and begin spooning the apples into the pie dish. Lastly pour the remaining juice over the apples. Bake for 40 minutes or until the pastry and apples turn golden.

Serve immediately with whipped/pouring cream. Best eaten fresh although it can be reheated the following day.